Caitlyn Jenner never felt much like a boy but didn't own up to her feelings for years.
The former Olympian-turned-transgender icon admits she was an incredibly awkward child, because she was never comfortable in her own skin.
"I was never comfortable with my identity, even as a very young kid," Caitlyn told pal Rob Lowe during an appearance on his new podcast series, "Literally". "I was fascinated by my sister's clothes, never comfortable in my own shoes. But you keep your mouth shut, you know?"
The 70-year-old reveals 'transgender' "wasn't even a word" in the 1950s and 1960s, when she was a kid.
"I found ways to just distract myself from those feelings," Jenner explains.
Later, as sportsman Bruce Jenner, he threw himself into his athletic career, deciding that competing in the Olympic Games was a "great way to prove your manhood", but the gender worries were "always there."
"For about four and a half years, I just tried my best to deal with it," the "I Am Cait" star explained, before finally confronting the truth. "Honestly, I thought I would transition before I'm 40 (sic)."
And though she has no regrets about becoming a woman, Jenner feels some guilt about the way she treated her children, while struggling with her own sexuality.
"Those years, I was not a good parent," Caitlyn acknowledged. "I had four kids. I was too busy struggling with my own issues and my own self. I very much regret that, that I wasn't there more for my young kids."