Lady GaGa was on suicide watch when she first moved into Frank Zappa's old compound in Hollywood because close friends feared she would take her own life.
The pop superstar admits she has struggled with suicidal thoughts for years and her best pals knew she was in trouble, keeping a constant watch over her.
Speaking from her Los Angeles home as part of a new "CBS Sunday Morning" TV interview, the "Poker Face" singer said, "The people around me, they lifted me up… I didn't really understand why I should live other than to be there for my family. That was an actual real thought and feeling."
"Every day (I thought about suicide). I lived in this house while people watched me for a couple of years to make sure I was safe."
Gaga explained she's a tad too fragile for fame at times, calling the pop star she has created her "biggest enemy."
"You can't go to the grocery store now, if you go to dinner with your family somebody comes to your table; you can't have a dinner with your family without it being about you. It's always about you… and your outfits: 'Why you gotta be like that.' "
And she now struggles with panic attacks and full body breakdowns when fans and paparazzi come up to her in public and take photos.
"If I'm at the grocery store and somebody comes up very close to me and puts a cellphone right in my face and just starts taking pictures (that triggers me)," she added. "Just total panic, full body pain. I brace because I'm so afraid. It's like I'm an object. I'm not a person."
But with all that said, the singer has no plans to give it all up and walk away, adding, "I don't know why but I have to… It turns out even if I don't wanna be alive I still know how to write a song."